Raising Godly Children

Titus 2 instructs the aged women to teach the young women to love their children. If you want to learn how to raise perfect children, you have come to the wrong place.

To Learn How To Raise Godly Children, We Must Look Into The Word Of God

To bring up godly children make them companions of wise people. Proverbs tells us that He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed (Proverbs 13:20).

One of the ways in which our children become a companion of fools is through the media: television, internet, radio, movies, books and magazines, etc. Another way is through the school. Unless their teachers, fellow students, and text books are sources of true wisdom, our children automatically become a companion of fools.

With whom does your child spend much of his time? If you were to divide the hours of the day, how much time is he spending with whom? Do you know the content of his school materials? Do you know the beliefs and philosophies of his teachers? Do you know who his friends are? Do you know what he watches or reads? Who are his heroes? Whom does he admire? Clue: he may be copying those he admires. He may copy their dress, their pronunciation of words, their opinions, their music choices, their body language or posture, their heroes.

If you want to be the person who has the most influence on your child, you are going to have to spend more time with your child than anyone else does. This time should be divided into spiritual, educational, fun, and fellowship times. If you want to have the greatest influence on your child, you must be his closest companion, friend and confidant. This requires time. You must have time to find out what he thinks, how she feels, what he/she enjoys. Learn to enjoy the interests of your young person, unless they are ungodly interests, in which case he should be redirected by you.

In the area of thought, we must show the young person from scripture, God's view point — wisdom. Do not make the mistake of just saying, “I think....” Use scripture. The Word of God is alive. It will have more power than your opinion, though there is a place for sharing your opinions. It must be clear that Mom thinks God's thoughts.

To Raise Godly Children, Our Children Must Know That We Value Children Like God Does

“Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.” Psalm 127:3-5

“Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.” Psalm 128:3

Children are intended to be a blessing from the Lord. They only seem to be a curse when we are selfish. Children teach us to think of othersbefore ourselves. They teach us to be organized. They make us teachers. They reveal our inconsistencies and our sin. They help to make us patient. They are a gift for our own good — unless someone else is raising them and learning the lessons God had prepared for us.

Children do create a lot of work, but I have found this Proverb to be excellent:

Proverbs 14:4

Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox. 

To Raise Godly Children We Must Train Them

Training involves, first of all:

telling them what to do and how to do it,

showing them how to do it,

having them do it under our supervision,

having them do it and checking to see if they did and how well,

and refining training according to ability.

The second part of training involves correction and discipline for disobedience and rebellion. The first thing we must teach our children is obedience. We must teach them that obedience is immediate and cheerful. If it is not carried out right away it is disobedience. If it is not done cheerfully it is disobedience. This should be taught when the child is very small and can be taught in a happy game-like way and discussed seriously.

I have been asked how young someone should begin to train. Do what should be done for a child, but do not reward crying at any age. If a child is truly hurt and they are crying, of course mend the wound, treat the illness and love the child, but do not indulge them because they are sick, or handicapped. The happiest children are those who know their boundaries are constant and are taught cheerfulness within them. They know security within those bounds.

Will your children be perfect at any age? No. Sometimes as parents we do extremely well with our children for a time, and then unconsciously we begin to allow things to slide. One day we awaken to the fact that our children are no longer the happy obedient children they used to be. We have gotten lax. When we realize what we have done we must return to our requirements and our consistency with the children. We may have to discipline often until we regain the happy obedience the child is capable of.

How Do I Discipline My Child?

Proverbs 3:11,12

My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction: for whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.

Proverbs 10: 13

In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding. 

Proverbs 13:24

He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. 

Proverbs 14:12

There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.

Proverbs 19:18

Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

Proverbs 20:11

Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.

Proverbs 20:30

The blueness of a wound cleanseth  away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly.

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:8

He that soweth iniquity shall reap vanity: and the rod of his anger shall fail.

Proverbs 22:15

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13,14

Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

Proverbs 23:26

My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways. 

Proverbs 29:15

The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

Proverbs 29:17

Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

2 Timothy 3:15

...that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

When we discipline a child it should take place as immediately as is possible. Get it over with. Show the child from the Word of God why you must discipline them. Do not say, “ if you do that again I'm going to...” any more than once. If the child knows the rules do not give second chances unless you enjoy having disobedient children. Discipline the first time so that you do not become angry by repeated disobedience. Discipline with love. Make it painful enough that they do not wish to repeat the offense. Make it not worth it to them. If the child is angry you are not finished disciplining. Agree as parents about discipline before disobedience occurs. Do not interfere in front of the child. Discuss concerns kindly and with respect without the child's knowledge. Adjust punishments according to age and need. With a very stubborn child you may need to discipline in a way that you can see that you are not causing unwanted harm to the child. We want to adjust behavior, NOT inflict permanent harm. When discipline is finished the child should be forgiven, loved and it should not be brought up again. The child should be required to make necessary genuine apologies or make things right, to clear their conscience. 

Be Certain Your Child Can Recognize and Refute Evolutionary teaching, or knows how to get the information he needs to do so.  

Never talk badly about the church or people in it in front of your child/young person.  

Do not be a hypocrite.  Be a Christian everywhere you are at all times.  

Apologize humbly when you fail or offend.   

Set up and keep guidlines to guard the purity of all family members.  

Teach your child the Word of God--all of it.

Enable your child to refute the supposed errors of the Bible with scholarly resources.  Warn him ahead of time that there are learned people who delight in destroying faith and show "proof" that the Bible is false.  Assure your child that though the argument looks good, they don't have all the facts and you will help them find the truth.  Then do it.  There are volumes written to explain these supposed errors.  Never be intimidated by Dr. Anybody.  

Cry out to God for wisdom as needed.